Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
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You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
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I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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