is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
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bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
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Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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