i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
