You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
