dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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