i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
