How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
