I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
