He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she looked like the before picture.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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