dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize