i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
