soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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