I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
