he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
