Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
