Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My ass is underappreciated
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
