I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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