You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
