Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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