Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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