please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
