Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
