bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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