why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
