I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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