we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
