Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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