quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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