If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
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My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
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don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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