All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
