i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
