The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
