also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
