Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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