dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
