i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
