I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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