no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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