I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
