tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
