I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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