So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
