plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
