Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
