no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Where is the hickey?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
