Acid is not a monday night drug
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
