If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
the liver wants what the liver wants
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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