Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
