I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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