butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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