tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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