Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
why do cheetos always look like penises
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
