you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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