We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
