My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
