Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
