you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize