What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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