those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
