I looked at my own cervix.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
