I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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