are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
