D3 body, D1 cock
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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