just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
