it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
