I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
