You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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