girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
